When I tell someone that I am leaving in a couple days for Spain I get an excited response, “that’s awesome” or “you’re going to have so much fun!”. Yes, yes I know it will be great and I am prepared to have great experiences and I don’t need any convincing or emphasis on that to get me on that plane on Tuesday. I just feel like I should be able to say the truth about how I feel right now. I am getting really scared. It’s very normal for me to feel apathetic and “blah” about trips before I leave but this feeling is new. I’m actually, literally nervous and scared. I will be in a new country with a considerably different language (yes, I speak Spanish but this will be much different than Mexican Spanish), I will also be living with a family that I don’t know at all yet and I have to make brand new friends. All of these social things freak me out a little but I think one of the things that makes me most nervous is the 15 credits of Spanish classes that awaits me. I have no exact expectations. I just picture myself sitting in a classroom and being the only one who has no idea what is going on, gripping my pen and not being able to understand enough to take notes. So, hopefully this is not the case but for now I am just going to admit my state of worry.
I have 4 days left in the United States. Wow. I have been talking about this semester since high school. And now that I have admitted my hesitations I feel a little bit more exctied, ready for this new (scary) adventure! J
